"Setting a Proper Table"
For as long as I can remember, setting the table for dinner held a special place of propriety in our day-to-day lives. Perhaps it was a fear of slipping into the mediocrity of life in the suburbs coupled with the rules of proper dining bestowed on her by her dear "Gram" (a Scotswoman of great societal tradition), but my mother never allowed the dinner table to be set any way other than what was considered "proper." By that I mean that the dinner plates were placed neatly at each setting, forks on the left, knives and spoons on the right, and placed on top of neatly folded napkins. Drinking glasses were placed just slightly above and to the right of the plates. Cooking pots were NEVER allowed on the table. Each main and side dish had its own matching serving dish.
I remember distinctly our dinnerware being a deep blue, Currier & Ives pattern of scenes depicting early American life. As a child, I was not particularly enamored with our dinnerware, though I found it interesting to look at. How I wish we still had it today! There were other hard and fast rules, such as, no elbows on the table, no eating with ones fingers, or reaching across the table for something, often resulting in a slight jab to the hand with the tip of my mothers fork. Harmless, but to the point. We learned early on the importance of these particular rules of etiquette as they pertained to our little family, and quickly adapted. There is something sweetly correct in living life with the simplest rules of civility, but which seem to have become somewhat obsolete and lost in the chaotic pace of twenty-first century life. I am glad my mother instilled these things in us, and I have taken them with me into adulthood and parenting. Along the way, I have infused some of my own aesthetic touches to setting my dinner table, such as always having a fresh or pretty silk flower centerpiece on the table. I like to light candles during the simplest of meals, and use real linen napkins at least a couple of times a week. I am happy to say that my married daughter also sets a beautiful table, and although my son is only fourteen, I hope someday he will find the perfect girl who will set his table with such love and tradition. Thanks, Ma.
